Oy, enough said.

This morning after I got off work at 6am, I decided to be virtuous. Or well, attempt to be. So I went home, changed clothes, woke up my poor sleeping hubby and dragged him down to the track at the high school with me. I'm a terrible self motivator so I needed him there with me to push me when I want to give up. With his help, I ran a mile and half. Not much right? Yeah, and I was huffing and puffing the whole damn way.
It was today that I realized I have truly become a fat ass. Now, I was never one for P.E. in school but I don't remember it being as hard as it is now.
When I was still living in Tucson Sam and I used to go running together 5 days a week after work. It was perfect! We could push each other to do it and wouldn't let each other quit. I'm super proud of her because she has kept this going all by herself. Even with college and a job going. What do I do? Sit on my lazy ass all night at work, eat, then go home and sleep, eat, shower and start it all over again. F my life.

This is probably the worst I've ever felt in my life, physically and emotionally. And I think it all has to do with my diet and exercise. I'm officially the largest I've ever been and the most miserable. Problem is, that's still not enough to get me off my ass and start working out. So if that's not enough, what is?
I'm lucky I had Omar this morning to help me push myself; I couldn't have done it without him. But I can't count on him coming with me every morning. He works too. Our schedules are just too different.

I need classes of some sort to take. Preferably ones that aren't 45 freaking miles away. That sounds great doesn't it? Let's drive for 2 hours each day to work out for 40 minutes. Yeah, no. Especially since the last thing I'll want to do is come home to fix the healthy food, so I'll end up with mickey d's or something. Workout? Down the toilet.

Ugh, I need help!! I just want to be fit!!







P.S. wanna know what's really sad? I would love to be a nutritionist and a yoga instructor. Yet, look at me. Yeah, I know. I'm pathetic. sigh